Remember to just breathe

Dear reader,

there are all sorts of relaxing techniques, courses, therapies and what not, to get relaxed again, thinking more straight and/or to just calm down again. The simplest and most obvious is often overlooked: just breathe. In a stressful situation or when we're nervous, we react far too often with shallow breathing or even holding our breath all together, instead of taking a deep breath or at least keep on breathing normally.

Many starting with ventriloquism will probably notice that the way of breathing they use for that makes them aware of their belly muscles suddenly. Especially those we don't use that often usually. Often you can read about neglected diaphragmatic breathing. As if we ever really could breathe without our diaphragm. It's true that we do breathe rather shallow and not consciously deep in and out of the belly. The intestines are often called the second brain. So just like we yawn sometimes to air our brains in our head out, it feels just as well good to relax the belly by breathing consciously. It's free!

In busy times like this, we could all do with calming down more. You don't even have to meditate as such. Many in fact have difficulties not thinking for a while. I know people, who say that they work better time pressure. Some suddenly feel bored when they don't have another five things to do at least on their “to-do list”. Some day they'll have a burnout. For those who don't want to stop thinking completely in a time of quiet, they might, as an alternative, for example count from 1 to 10 and when they reached 10 start again at 1. Repeat a few times, without taking note how many times you reached 10.

Might be a good thing to “think first, then speak” in any case. Especially in conflict situations. In Noel Coward's “Privat Lives” two couples are on their honeymoon in a hotel. As luck would have it, the husband of one was once with the wife of the other. They meet now again with rooms next to each other and bicker again, too. But they don't want to bicker. They make an agreement: when one notices they start bickering again, that person is to say a catchphrase. After that they're both not to speak for two minutes. Two minutes with the option of renewal. I like that idea a lot.

Until next blog,

sarah

Thinner - the easy part: the body

Dear reader,

so now the post some have been waiting for for a long time and for which the last posts have been sort of to prepare for. Some thoughts on how I lost weight a couple of years ago.

Some time around 2002 I wanted to lose weight. At first I thought of going to the fitness center. But then I saw the well well-conditioned men in front of my minds eye and me, the short, untrained girl among all of them? Hardly. But I wasn't happy with my belly. I wanted definitely to have a thinner belly and that was the beginning of all.

1. The absolute and definite thought of change.

Some dream of changing "the world". This big planet as a whole. It's too big a project, I'm telling you. Just as bad as a blank "I want to be thin." So something else is important, too

2. The thought of only changing one definied part.

But more on thoughts and the mind in my next post. The way I see it, that's in fact the even more important and more powerful part of the whole thing.

So I wanted to lose weight without going to the fitness center. I decided on push-ups and something that seems generally to be called crunches. I started with 10 push-ups as you know them. Then do the crunches to relax the arms. That's lying on your back, legs bent, feet on the ground. Now for example lift the left leg a bit so that the left knee and the right ellbow can touch and vice versa. So it's touching crossed knees and ellbows. Just as a variation to the "normal" lifting your head. Do 10 of those each side. (I always did left ellbow right knee, then right ellbow left knee and again left ellbow right knee.) Then to relax the belly I did so called "woman push-ups". That means you're on your knees, feet bent in the air (and crossed at the ankles is the most comfortable, I think). These are easier and even untrained I can do at least 15 of them easily. Then again go on your back and do the "normal" crunches": legs bent, feet on the ground and lift your head and shoulders just up.

For the arms what I did "back then" when we still had birds and bird grit, I once filled up two small plastic bottles with the grit and used them as dumbbells. I don't do that anymore these days. It's easy to do exercises with that when you're just sitting in front of the tv. Apropos of nothing.

About the legs: a really easy exercise can be done sitting, too. Put both feet on the ground. Then lift one. Just a tiny bit and tense up the leg. Imagine you have weights on your ankle, which pull down the leg. Do 10 to 15 of those, just as you please and then switch to the other leg. That's something that can be done again apropos of nothing, like at work or when you're having a coffee with a friend or when you're at the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive. But it's important to do all the exercises I mentioned here on a regular basis! Going through them once takes no time at all. So doing them once a day or at least every second day should be really easy.


There's always a lot of talk about doing lots of sports and being active. You don't necessarily have to do that as such. I didn't do that, apart from the exercises I mentioned here, which I don't do on a regular basis anymore these days. It starts with little things such as going the stairs instead of taking the escalator or elevator. With that alone you're already more active. Or just stand up and walk around while on the phone. Especially these days where practically all phones (mobile phones anyway) are wireless, that's no problem anymore.

Recently I found juggling for myself again, after I started it for a bit in 2011 and taught myself quite fast to juggle with 2 balls and then stopped doing it until a couple of months ago. My next long term goal would be to juggle 4 balls. Also I found so called contact juggling to do. That's juggling, but not throwing the ball, instead it's always in contact (hence the name) with the body. There are all sorts of quite impressive contact juggling videos on youtube both tutorials and simply to watch and enjoy. Some of them are very meditating and relaxing to watch. As is doing it. ;-)

A lot of people often suggest to go jogging. Jogging isn't my thing. Never interested me really. Althought there's this thing of combining jogging and juggling, which is called "joggling". There's even sort of marathons where you are allowed to drop a ball only so many times and you're running and juggling with others. Find your own sports to do. I am fascinated with juggling. Sitting on the bed or on the sofa it's easy to do apropos of nothing. It's good for coordination, a nice arm exercise and it's proved that activities that involve using both hands also help to (re)connect both of the brain hemispheres better (again). Which is also, by the way, why it helps with depression and increases the creativity! Which is not to say that I want you all to start learning to juggle now. Everybody should find their own activity they enjoy to be active. I for one like juggling at this moment with great fun and it's easy to carry 2 balls in your bag. That's my thing at the moment.

That's it for now. Being thinner the first, the easy part: the body. Next time will be the harder part: the brain and the mind!

Until next blog,
sarah

Ventriloquism helps (part 2)

Dear reader,

we visited my mom yesterday. It was the first time for my sister and me. A friend of my parents', who also was with them on the tour, drove us. He and my dad had seen her before already in the hospital in france. I didn't say to her yet what I described in my last post, that I wanted to tel her. Although I thought about what and how to say it, in case other people would listen, too, and I wouldn't be able to say it directly the way I would if we had been alone. During the visiting hours in the hospital the doctors take some time off and go through the rooms talking to the relatives. The doctor didn't say much. We already knew the next steps and for now there's not much more we can do than just wait. When the doctor was there, she told us my mom is biting quite a bit when they're doing the oral hygiene. Understandably so. Who would like someone else "fumbling around" in our mouth and the tube to breathe certainly isn't comfortable for her. As the doctor went away, I would have liked to tell my mom what I want to tell her. Especially since the doctor had talked about biting. Not that my mom would take it as an order to bite. I didn't feel all too comfortable about it though that such words were used in her presence. I don't believe that people need to be that strict and have to watch there every word thinking three times about which ones to use, before actually saying them in her presence. After all she's still very far away and they sedated her, that's giving her tranquilizer, for the transportation to germany and the other day too, to change the tubes as well. A part of me is mean and wondering how the heck she's supposed to wake up from the coma if they sedate her again. On the other hand, of course, I see the point of doing that and that its necessary to do. We'll see. I wonder if it's possible to wake someone up by first picking up on the breathing rhythm of the other person and then taking over so to speak and leading to breathe together in such a way that would wake her up. Adjusting the breathing and then leading to breathe together in a different way is very indirect and often the other person doesn't notice, but it can be very effective and create change. That's especially important in hypnosis and relaxation and an inconspicuous, but very important thing. When we like other people in our daily life, this often happens, too. We adjust our breathing to match theirs, the tempo of how fast or slow we talk adjusts to one another and other aspects attune as well. I don't know what's possible in that aspect for my mom and me. My knowledge about hypnosis is mostly theory and otherwise limited to a little playing around with myself. apart from the two already mentioned friends where what I wanted to do didn't go too well. The situation with my mom will indeed be a test, just like the headline of my last entry read. Writing it this way has a morbid taste to it, or at least one may read it that way. Test. Like my mom is a test subject, someone to play around with. We'll see what comes out. (So much for: not giving continued details...)

I believe it was the beginning of this week when I brought my bat Gaston from Bochum back to my parents here. I wanted to have him to practise ventriloquism better with a real figure. Besides he's soft and warm and a pretty good substitute for my guinea pigs, which I often take out in the eve in front of my tv to have them on my lap. Up until two days ago my dad had some stomach problems. I gave him a big heart cushion, but he said it didn't fit that well. The other day we sat together watching tv. I had Gaston on my belly, because mine wasn't doing all too good either. My dad didn't want to have Gaston for himself. But then I wanted to get something from the kitchen. Normally I gave the guinea pigs away to my parents if I wanted something from the kitchen in the past so I wouldn't need to take them with me when I had them out on my lap. And now I did the same with Gaston somewhat casually giving him to my dad. He spread the wings, like I did and placed him on his belly. Some time later he said that the bat was really good. The wings would keep it all nice and warm. Up until the day before yesterday we took turns taking Gaston. When he had him, I took the heart. The day before yesterday he didn't want Gaston anymore. Only yesterday again I casually left him with my dad and as I walked out I saw my dad about to stick his hand into Gaston. When I was back from the kitchen with a yoghurt, Gaston said to me, "Hello. Getting hungry, aye?" I saw that my dad's lips were, quite "professionally" slightly parted, but they didn't move. We both had to grin.

Ventriloquism helps. Even if it's just by turning a figure into a hot bag for the belly. Another aspect of it is that for ventriloquism the jaws have to be relaxed. Otherwise you'll feel it in your jaws after a while. Many people when they're stressed are literally clenching their teeth so their jaws are all tense. I realised now that I'm getting more playful again and started practising ventriloquism again. It seems that I don't watch my jaws when I'm stressed. In theory ventriloquism could help against stress, since you've got to have relaxed jaws to do it. Now that my mom is closer to us again, the situation is more relaxed again for all of us. It was nice to see my dad getting a bit more playful again and seeing him play a bit with Gaston. Given that he knows nothing and only has seen some short videos with ventriloquists that I showed him, I was pleasantly surprised. Then again "Hello. Getting hungry, aye?" doesn't have difficult letters in it, for which you'd usually need to move your lips. ;-)

Until next blog,

sarah